The early days of the Texas Cruncher Basket Stack saw the appropriation of this top secret facility for use as a research and production laboratory. Here, the fusion of silicon and polystyrene technologies resulted in the development of the Texas Cruncher prototypes. Elaborate security measures were put into place to prevent our proprietary, top secret research from falling into the wrong hands. Thrift shop owners, junk dealers and crazy women claiming we had stolen their laundry baskets presented the most serious threats.

A model of efficiency, the Control & Operations Console allowed us to control the powerful crunching array and included state of the art documentation management and storage of cigarettes, butane lighters and such within mere inches of the flammable liquids supplies. In the event of a security breach, the entire facility could be reduced to ashes within minutes. The documentation management system's close proximity to the aforementioned flammable liquids and heat generating equipment ensured that only the slightest effort or hint of stupidity would be required to prevent the facility from being overtaken by hostile nations such as Canada or possibly Guatemala.

This early prototype in the development of the Texas Cruncher included single and dual core processors in the array. These were quickly sold off to unsuspecting distant relatives, in favor of the newer, quad-core processors that are currently in use.

Note the advanced case design, allowing for superior airflow and cooling of the individual units in the Basket Stack array. This kind of bleeding edge technology can't be found at your local, cheesy computer and home electronics store. Industrialized nations with espionage and tactical mission teams are constantly attempting to steal this top secret technology, but we dutifully enforce our sophisticated security measures to ensure that seedy, unscrupulous characters like conservative talk show hosts and teabaggers do not gain access to these advanced technological achievements.

Skip Da Shu, the facility's Chief Engineer and Head of Assclown Operations, determined that the growth rate of the Texas Cruncher Basket Stack required a relocation of the equipment, due largely to the low ceiling height in this initial research facility. It was determined by careful analysis, scientific method and a two-dollar tape measure that this crap would have to be moved down to the floor. An additional air conditioning unit was also installed, to alleviate any impending financial crisis the local electric company might face in these troubling times. This decision would later prove to be misguided when it was discovered that the power company guys all drove a Mercedes and lived in a better neighborhood.

It is this kind of research that keeps the Guru Mountain DC Team competitive in the cutthroat world of distributed computing.